My Cat Likes Potato Chips, and Other Stories

Good afternoon everyone I’m back!!  Can’t get rid of me that easily can you?  For the past several weeks I have pondered the topic of my next blog post.  Will it be serious? Sarcastic? Researched??  Finally, I decided on neither of these and instead will return to a topic that is near and dear to my heart, my cat Jemima Fish.  If you’ve followed this blog since its inception, you already know I’m a borderline crazy cat lady, if this is the first of my blog posts you’re reading, I will say that yes, I am definitely a cat lady.  Crazy though? Well, I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but I will keep you posted.  In the mean time, please enjoy these carefully crafted vignettes about life with Jemima.

Just look at this little angel!

Jemima Tries Being Vegan (for 15 minutes)

            Once upon a time, I walked into a corner store close to my apartment and bought a bag of goldfish, and a sleeve of Oreos.  The cool air-conditioned interior was a welcome respite from the muggy summer evening.  Walking home in the dusky light after my small purchase I couldn’t help but fantasize about the epic chick flick I was going to watch while I devoured these goodies.  To this day I no longer remember what epic chick flick I watched because I was so struck by what Jemima did in the middle of my movie.

            Now, Jemima has a history of gleefully eating Goldfish (crackers) whenever anyone leaves any around.  This evening I had painstakingly resealed my own Goldfish bag after every handful, to prevent Jemima from ingesting any human food, which would undoubtedly wreak havoc on her digestive system later in the evening.  What I also had done, was leave a couple Oreos stacked next to my laptop completely unattended, because you don’t have to worry about that chocolate thing with cats, so I was wholly unconcerned with this uncovered, unwatched food.  It was at this moment that sweet Jemima sprung lightly to the coffee table, sniffed around the laptop for a few seconds, grabbed one of the Oreos with her little kitty mouth, and hauled it over to the corner where she devoured the entire cookie.  WHAT THE HELL JEMIMA!?!

*Much to my surprise, Oreos are vegan.  This is why the title of this vignette works.

Even Cats Use Computers

            This brutal winter has had the unexpected positive consequence of driving Jemima and myself closer together, physically.  Jemima now relatively enjoys being in "closer" proximity to me now because of the heat my body exudes.  Lovely, I'll take it, as long as I can delude myself into thinking it's real honest-to-goodness affection.  Just the other day she sat with me on the couch, and only left a one-cushion space between us!

            As good as the days are, the nights are a slightly different story.  Exhausted, I fall into bed, often times leaving my laptop open, my iTunes account working its way through a playlist of Bing Crosby or ambient piano compositions to relax both my mind and body.  Just as I'm about to drift off to sleep I hear a horrible thunking-beeping noise and I groggily roll over to see what it is.  As I look across my bedroom, I see two shiny eyes staring dreamily back at me, from behind my laptop screen.  Jemima perches on my laptop keyboard, and the computer is wigging out because it can't find the file entitled "HJJKJKJJIJNNMMMMMML>>NOPHNKM>>>>">""""""""""""" and the "voice over" command has somehow been activated and now I have a stale-vaguely creepy computer voice narrating to me everything my mouse rolls over.  I glance at the clock, which reads 2:38am.  Dammit cat, what on earth have you done??  I search my computer for a way to fix everything.

            "Opening System preferences," drones the computer voice.  Right, first things first I'll figure out how to turn off this stupid voice-over setting.  After a little searching, I find that I just have to press "Command-F5".

            "Voice over off," says Fred, the computer's voice.  Hmmm, maybe I'll change my computer's voice to Zarvox.  Done.  Nice.  Look who's a cool lady now.

              Anyway, when I went to turn on my music to help myself fall back to sleep, I find my entire Ambient Piano playlist has been deleted.

My Cat Likes Potato Chips

            Shortly after my birthday I was reheating a stir-fry for lunch.  While the bowl of noodles, fried egg, and veggies rotated lethargically in the microwave, I was picking away at a bag of kettle chips left over from my party.  A particularly great chip (you know, where it’s all folded over, crispy and crunchy like?) fell from the bag and onto my kitchen floor.  I’ll get that later, I thought to myself, and I would too, don’t worry about that dear reader.  However, before I could “get to it” Jemima had silently approached the chip, sniffed it tentatively for a few seconds, and proceeded to crunch it all up with her little kitty teeth.  Sighing, I add “Potato chips” to the list I keep of people food my cat really likes.  To date, this includes:

1.     Gold Fish

2.     Ritz Crackers

3.     Milk (from your cereal bowl)

4.     Oreos

5.     Peanut butter (but not cashew butter) toast

6.     Potato Chips

So the moral of the story here is, my cat will eat your snacks.

Things that Get Knocked Off Bookshelves in the Night   

            Jemima has always, and will only ever knock the same four things off my bookshelf at night.

            The End.

I Discover Jemima has a Heart <3

            7:00am: I'm sitting on the leftmost couch cushion eating cereal out of a large latte mug, because it definitely tastes better this way.

            7:03am: Jemima Fish leaps onto the left armrest with a quiet chirp.  Jemima proceeds to climb up and move behind my head on the back of the couch.

            7:05am: Jemima Fish jumps onto the middle couch cushion and stares at my lap, sniffing my leg every so hesitantly.

            7:07am: Kitty-kins walks quickly over my lap and on to the couch arm rest.  Turns in a circle once, then climbs into my lap and sits down.

            7:10am: I decide that I would be willing to be late to work if she continues to sit on my lap, because this is an opportunity I simply cannot miss.

Dear reader, I was not late to work, because Jemima did not stay on my lap for very long, but she has since that time become much more cuddly, often burrowing under the covers at night by my stomach and purring ferociously.  After years of searching, hoping, dreaming, I now know my cat loves me.

Jemima approves of my new accessory

 

October is Conflict Resolution Month in Vermont!

October is such a beautiful month for those of us who live in Vermont.  The leaves are starting to turn, the air is crisp and chilly, and some of my favorite foods (squash, apples, parsnips) are coming into season.  October is also Conflict Resolution month in Vermont.  All over the state, schools, book shops, local governments and non-profit organizations will host events commemorating Conflict Resolution month, which will hopefully train us to think about how we manage conflict in our own lives.  Now, just take a moment before reading further and think about the strategies you use that help you manage conflict.  Did you think about it? Good, you may now proceed.

Whenever I encounter conflict, I try to think about it from a restorative point of view, rather than from a punitive mindset.  Why do I think this way?  Well, one fine Saturday, I was perusing the Burlington Farmer's Market when I beheld a table nestled under an awning with a big sign reading "Burlington Community Justice Center."  Having recently graduated from college after spending a year working on a thesis about interfaith dialogue and its application as a peacebuilding tool, I was yearning for some real-world experience using real-life-honest-to-goodness peacebuilding strategies.  I walked up to the staff person at the table and stated, "Hello, I'm interested in learning more about what you do at this place."

Turns out, the CJC has a LOT of programs that are available to Burlington residents who have encountered varying levels of crime and general conflict.  The Restorative Justice panel program stood out in particular.  I have now been volunteering on a Restorative Justice panel in Burlington for the past year, and it has been one of the most fulfilling experiences I've had since moving back to Vermont.  Restorative Justice grew out of the need to address some of the limitations and failings of the traditional Western justice systems.  When someone is "brought to justice," what picture pops into your mind?  For a lot of people, that picture consists of the state (ie: country, state, community, town province, etc) punishing a person for breaking a law.  The offender is tried in court, and is sentenced by a judge to undergo a punishment that is equal to his or her crime.  This model is called a punitive system of justice.  Rarely is the voice of the victim heard.  Rarely is the relationship between the transgressor and community examined, and rarely do any of those people feel true justice is achieved in such a formulaic punitive sentencing.  Restorative justice sees conflict as the infliction of harm upon an individual or community (I'm sure most of you are like, "duh, that's the definition of conflict).  What makes this justice restorative is that is seeks to repair that harm by attending to the needs of the direct victims and the community.  Restorative practices put the victims first, and makes sure that their needs are attended to, including providing information about the motivation of the offender, and sometimes bringing the victims face to face with their offenders if this meeting is desired.

Last year, my bike was stolen from work.  Someone cut right through my (very thick) chain and rode away.  I was devastated because someone had taken away my primary form of transportation, and I had just spent a lot of money getting it outfitted with lights, a rack, and odometer so it would be more utilitarian.  Sure, I was angry and hurt, but what I really wanted to know was why.  Why did this person make this choice?  Even though this happened over a year ago and I've recovered and moved past this incident, a part of me would love to know the answers to these questions.  Part of me hopes that if I had the chance to share my story with whoever stole my bike, they would feel so remorseful they would never steal again.

So, on the restorative panel I volunteer on, the victim is contacted and asked if they want to participate in this process.  The victim can choose to participate in person and attend panel meetings, they can write or send a victim impact statement outlining how they felt at the time of the incident and what has changed for them since the incident happened, they can just be kept informed about the offender's participation on the panel, or they can choose not to participate at all.

Secondly, restorative justice involves the offenders by holding them accountable for their actions (more about this later), encouraging some sort of personal changes and education so they do not re-offend, and providing support from the community so they can reintegrate and reconnect with the community, which can also lower the rate of recidivism (re-offending).  The panel I volunteer on engages offenders by bringing them before a group of volunteers (including me) and we ask them to take responsibility for their actions and work with them to create a legally binding contract in which they outline a strategy for repairing the harm done to the victim(s), the community, and learning opportunities for their own personal growth.  Anything can go on our contract, so long as it achieves the goal of repairing the harm done.  In my opinion, the most creative contracts we write have the biggest impact on the offenders and are the most successful.  Part of the reason this happens is because we, as a panel, spend a chunk of time getting to know the offender beyond his or her crime.  This allows us all to examine the strengths, talents, and passions of the offender and come up with a contract that will be extremely meaningful and dare I say, restorative, to all parties.  I've seen a lot of beautiful artwork that offenders have made in an effort to repair the harm their actions may have caused the community.

In the last year I've seen numerous people who've committed numerous different crimes within the community from retail theft, to disorderly conduct, and a few cases of petit larceny and drug possession.   The participants (offenders) have come from many diverse backgrounds.  Participants are referred to us from the police, or the Department of Corrections.  Some are completing the program as part of the terms of their parole, and others see us with a deferred sentence, or pre-charge, which means that if they complete our program successfully then this incident will be struck from their record.  Needless to say, this is a wonderful opportunity for our participants to avoid the court system and to learn from their mistakes and maintain a clean criminal record.  It is hugely stigmatizing and debilitating to have a criminal charge on your record.  It's hard to find a job, and many convicts lose their right to vote; it leaves people positively unable to lead a normal life. 

I would argue that nobody I've met on the panels deserves this isolation.  Most people I've seen have taken accountability for their actions, and are ready to learn from this incident and move forward with their lives.  Some accept accountability right away, but other cases are more challenging.  This is why victim participation is so hugely helpful.  Many of our participants have absolutely no idea of the actual effect their actions had on the physical/mental/emotional well-being of the victims, and I've seen participants make a 180 degree turn around after listening to one of the panel members read a victim statement.  I've seen offenders brought to tears by the victims' statements.  This may have been the first time learn the extent of the consequences of their actions.  Restorative justice procedures really strive to humanize not only the victims, but the offenders, and I think this really does help repair the harm and rebuild the positive community connections many of us cherish.

Let me be clear, there are definitely challenges to this kind of work.  Sometimes I'll meet a participant who's just not ready to take accountability for his or her actions.  Restorative justice is most effective for the offender when they actually take responsibility for their actions, and when someone isn't quite willing to do this, we (the panel) often just end up going around and around in circles.  It feels as if my time is being wasted, and I'm sure I'm not the only panel volunteer who feels this way.  I will also sometimes see participants glibly taking accountability for their actions.  The words are often exactly what we want to hear, but their sincerity is doubtful, and that is unfortunate. 

Yet another challenge arises when the participant does not take this panel as seriously as he or she should.  They often forget, if they fail to satisfactorily complete the terms of the contract, we will violate them, and their case returns to court, where it will stay firmly affixed to their records for forever and eternity.  This is probably the most frustrating challenge I've faced.  Part of this work entails meeting people where they are in life, and that may involve some concessions or re-evaluations of what I expect from some people.  The middle class college student with the possession charge, and the shop lifter who struggles with homelessness and drug addiction will be at very different points of their life, and I can't hold them each to the exact same standard.  Their restorative processes will look very different.

I'm also the type of person who wants to see everyone succeed.  Sometimes in this process you have to be a hard ass, which is a personal challenge for me.  If a participant has come to a check-in meeting without even starting to work on his or her contract, or their work so far is shoddy, incomplete, or clearly thrown together at the last minute, then we will have words.  I really want this process to be meaningful for everyone we see, and I've learned in the past year that some people are just not ready for this process.  That's hard to watch.  It's hard to watch someone technically fulfill the terms of their contract, but do so in such a hollow manner that you really aren't sure what was accomplished over the 45 to 60 days they participate.  Harder still is when we've violated someone for not fulfilling the terms of their contract.  Even though that has been one of the least enjoyable parts of this work, one of my fellow volunteers pointed out that those violations are learning experiences as well, and hopefully this will finally prompt participants to reflect on their behavior and actions.  I know I've grown and learned a lot from failures and setbacks in my own life, so I would hope that these others will also grow from their own negative experiences.

So now I've shared with you my experiences working/volunteering in one small corner of the beautiful, lush, and vast field of conflict resolution.  It is a wonderful way to connect with my community, and to meet other community members I would otherwise have never met.  Its challenges contribute to my personal growth, and have greatly influenced my ongoing vocational search.  In fact, one of the many reasons I started this blog was to write about my first forays into restorative justice, no joke.  Creating this blog in October, which just happens to be conflict resolution month, may be one of the most serendipitous occurrences in my recent memory. 

Seriously though, if you want to learn more about restorative justice, I would suggest reading The Little Book of Restorative Justice by Howard Zehr, who is one of the first serious proponents of Restorative Justice in the academic world.  It's short, to the point, and extremely accessible to pretty much everyone.  In honor of Conflict Resolution Month, I would also like to challenge you to Reach Out by practicing one or several of the suggestions listed by Conflict Resolution Month Vermont that will help develop and improve your conflict resolution skills.  Remember that there are also lots of events and displays all over the state, and I encourage each one of you to try your best to attend one of these events.  I am very interested in hearing your thoughts, and especially your experiences with conflict resolution.  If you do try to "Reach Out", let me know how it goes! What did you learn about yourself and your community?  Were there any unexpected encounters or challenges you faced?  Were you able to identify and deconstruct any assumptions or prejudices you have that was holding you back from resolving one of your own conflicts?  Did you attend an event...and have fun?  I'd love to hear your stories!